Parenting Articles:

Introduction
Definition
Skills
Not By Choice
Church
Dating
Education
Alcohol
Aids
Sex
Blending

Single Parenting - Not By Choice

A single parent is not always a single parent by choice.

You can be married and still be a single parent. If the father does not participate in the child's life, the mother is left to take care of the child by herself.

When fathers do not participate in their children's lives, they become like ghost parents (not visible). Ghost parents are not single, separated or divorced. They are married but distracted. Some fathers think their responsibilities end with the provision of money. This is not so.

No amount of money can make up for the life long commitment that comes with raising our children. The financial support is only one part of taking care of the children. Money will make life easier, give more options and will afford education and opportunities for the children. However, it should not be the chief focus in life. Values should be taught. The father's physical, emotional and spiritual participation, in his children's lives, will always be more important than money.

A father ought to be concerned about where his children go to school, whether they get the right things to eat and wear, if they go to church, and anything else that is happening to them.

Children need to see their father figures. Our daughters need to see a good male role model. They need to have strong shoulders to lean on. They need to know how to choose a husband, to see their father's strength, compassion and bravery. They need to know that daddys love their girls.

Every little boy needs a male figure in his life. He needs someone to play ball with, someone to show him what a man's world is all about, and to meet the challenges of life. A boy may feel less manly without his father in the home. Boys are not always comfortable talking with moms about certain issues. They sometimes think moms do not understand.

Fathers: the welfare of your son or daughter is a priority. In a family with teenagers, a father's direction can help his son or daughter to understand when it is a mature age to date, what is family planning, why he or she should wait for marriage and the importance of both parents participating in the child's life.

The mother may feel she is not being involved enough in her children's lives, so she may try to be both mother and father, fixing every situation, making the children her whole life. This can lead to burn out, which often prevent children from learning valuable lessons. This defeats all hopes and values that parent has put into the child's life.

Tragically, the child generally yearns more for the attention of the absent parent, than they do for the one who does the job. It can be frustrating for the parent who has stood by the child, (like old faithful) to hear the child make a big fuss over the slightest attention from the other parent.

Fathers: do not miss the chance to be a part of your children's lives, whether single or not. You may never get a second chance to make a lasting impression.