Parenting Articles:

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Single Parenting - A Definition

Webster's New World Dictionary defines parenting as work or skill of a parent in raising a child or children. The same definition applies to single parenting, except in this case the single parent assumes the roll of both father and mother. There are a number of circumstances that lead to single parenting: divorce, separation, abandonment, and death.

As I address the subject it must be understood that an individual can be a biological or surrogate parent, male or female. My immediate concern is not whether the children were born in or out of wedlock, but that the children are here-they exist, therefore we have a God given and legal responsibility to care for them. In caring for our children we must provide for the complete person. In providing for our children we must meet their spiritual, educational and physical need.

Regardless of the circumstances that led to our children being born, we must plan for them, from infancy to puberty and ultimately to adulthood. Having a plan and working that plan is one of the ways of ensuring that our children are properly cared for and that they grow up to be healthy and productive human beings accepting and fulfilling their civic responsibilities in the society in which they live. Both parents should be involved in the planning. The plan should have built into it a policy and procedures on how to resolve disputes between the parents. This would help to keep parents focus on the task at hand, which is rearing their children. The objective is management and avoidance of conflict.

In planning you should consider finances. The children have to eat, they need clothing and a roof over their heads - this takes money. Among parents this is a contentious issue, but bear in mind that it is the welfare of our children that should take center stage. Both parents need to contribute based on their means. Therefore in dollar terms one parent may contribute more than the next simply because that parent has access to more money. If we as parents are unable to cross this hurdle we can select someone as an arbitrator and agree to abide by that person's decision or we allow the courts to decide.

As part of this plan the parents need to agree how they will pay for their children's education from pre-school to college. (If we are going to save, the break down of who will pay what amount must be stated clearly in the plan.) More importantly, we need to mention in the plan the management of the children with regard to school activities, which would involve homework, parent-teachers' meetings or other functions the school might have. Both parents should play a role in the formal and informal education of their children, because the values learnt will serve them all of their lives. Our legal system provides for single parenting and the parents need to know their legal rights as single parents.

I would not be a good parent if I did not address the role of the state in providing programs to assist single parents in rearing their children. The state needs to ensure that the laws on the books are up-to-date and comprehensive (taking into consideration dead beat parents, visitation rights and child support, etc.) The state should consider commissioning a task force on parenting to provide lawmakers with a realistic feel for the problems being faced by single parents.

Good parenting is an essential part of rearing children in this day and time. We as parents must be proactive in the legacy that we are leaving for them, hence, we must be actively involved in all aspects of their lives leaving nothing to chance. All decisions made on behalf of the children must be done out of love and commitment for that child.